Final year student.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

I now pronounce myself as a successful final year student. Yeah, perhaps a successful one. Me, didn't have a lot to say but wahh, this was too fast. I was like "Pejam celik, pejam celik dah nak grad kot". I couldn't imagine how would I look like when the graduation day. haha. It would be really a great memory.

Ahh, its too early to start dreamin'. I should get my brain working well from now on. Now is not the time to play around again. Too much playing for the past few semesters. Oh what a waste of time. But, to regret now is nothing. All I have to do is do my best for this final year. Fighting! Yeahh..haha. But back then, I'm afraid of something that I know too well. It's me, myself. I gotta find a cure for me soon. But I wonder, what it is??

kicking with the band; kick out the jamm !

Jamming session for the last, but not least. Today was perfect.

Okay, now we moves back a few hours before this. So time-machine, please do your work.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

It is 8.45 p.m. right now. I wondering where are my friend now. His rule is to rockin' the bass.


"Oi Yopt, duk mano dh?"

"Otw dh nie"

"owh, okay"


He fetch me around 9 p.m. The jamming session will start about 30 minutes after this, I mean we must be there before 9.30 p.m. We need to be hurry cause the place is quite far from our house. But, damn it. The traffics is really bad. With a number of traffic lights, we will surely be late. I take my mobile phone and then,

"Alo we, mu g bowok Alim nge Basit dlu lah. Udin jgk. Aku otw dah nie, tp jale jemm. Kiro jupo sano terus r"

"Ouh, ok xdop hal lahh. Jupo sano"

"Ok, bereh we"


I ends the call. All the names listed up there are my bandmates. Well I meet them a few years ago after SPM. They're really good friends.

Okay, back to the story.
After all the hard works, we are here at the studio. We are 10 minutes late, but it's okay. All the members are here. So, what are we waiting for? Lets rock!

Let me introduces the line-up.

Basit - guitarist;
Udin - guitarist;
Alim - drummer;
Puyopth - bassist;
Matwe - vocal;
Me - vocal;

The very first song that we cover is Sonnet. The song was from the Verve. And I'm on the vocals. It feels nostalgic cause the song was played when I was at SMACH in Annual Dinner when I was in SPM year. Although it's not me who sang that song back then. haha.

Second song. It Matwe's turn. We cover I Believes In Miracles by the Ramones. It is a great song, it gets me to dance with the flow.

Next, Matwe continues his job. We cover Transmission by Jot Division. Post punk. Really great tune.

It's my turn now. I continues with You Only Live Once by the Strokes. An American band with British style of music. How I adore Julian. He's great.

Then, the next song to be cover is You Have Killed Me by Morrissey. This song is a must. I feels very enjoy when singing this song. haha

The last song from me is Almost Ready by Dinosaur Jr. It's tune is awesome, that is Dinosaur Jr.

Time moves fast, it's only one song left to covers. An hour seems too short. We all covers I Believes In Miracles by Ramones again. This time, Matwe and I both on vocals. Rock n roll can't never dies!! That is truly enjoyable. You wouldn't know until you feel it yourself, pal.

Huhh, my throat needs water. haaha. So, we all hang out at a restaurant on the way back home. And now, I'm here in my room. End of a good day, for today.

the way I look

Today was a big day. Well then, cause I've got my hair short. Really short, I mean. People need to change right? So, I'm changing the way I look first. It ain't big matters. Although I really love my hair very much. Ha Ha


From something kinda like this, a little bit >

to something like this, kinda

but now, it was just like this

wahh, I take back my words. This really big matters, pal.

well said, sorry

frankly speaking, I felt really sorry for myself for I cannot continue to complete the I'm Not There story.

It takes a long time to think of an idea to write a story. I adore the novelist on how they could write something that was freakin' awesome.
Plus, I don't have an enough spirit to continue doing this. After all, it's me.


You know pal, you'll feel fucking tired when you do something that's totally not worth it. When it comes to that, you'll say to yourself, "Man, what have I done? What have I been doing all these past years?". Then you'll realize that you're losing something that is fucking important. The only things that can't be replaced or buy. It's TIME. After all, you have waste your fucking time, pal.

I've experienced it once already pal. Actually, it's more then once. And I don't wanna have that kind of feelings again. Not again, never.

down memory lane

well yeah, dah lama tak rasa hostel life..haha..tertunai jugak hajat aku lepas bermalam selama lebih kurang 4 hari 3 malam stay di sekolah pujaanku Sains Machang..


Buat apa stay kt sana??

well, apa lagi..main basketball lahh..haha..

sambil-sambil tu ajar adik-adik yang tengah meningkat naik nie untuk main basketball.. girls and boys.. yeahh, two thumbs up for them, they're really nice..

wahh rindu zaman-zaman seluar bootcut hijau dulu~~~

haih =.="

I'M NOT THERE - the girl's story

She's blood, flesh and bone
no tucks or silicone
She's touch, smell, sight, taste and sound
but somehow I can't believe
that anything should happen
I know where I belong
and nothing's gonna happen, yeah.

Cause she's so high, high above me, she's so lovely.
She's so high, like Cleopatra, Joan of Arc or Aphrodite
Do, do, do, do do
She's so high, high above me.

A first class and fancy free,
she's high society,
she's got the best of everything.
What could a guy like me ever really offer?
She's perfect as she can be,
why should I even bother --- Aha

Cause she's so high, high above me, she's so lovely
she's so high, like Cleopatra, Joan of Arc or Aphrodite
Do, do, do, do do
she's so high, high above me

She comes to speak to me,
I freeze immediately,
cause what she says sounds so unreal,
Somehow I can't believe,
that anything should happen
I know where I belong
and nothing's gonna happen, yeah yeah yeah

Cause she's so high, high above me, she's so lovely
she's so high, like Cleopatra, Joan of Arc or Aphrodite
Oh yeah yeah yeah
she's so high, high above me.

-SHE'S SO HIGH(above me) by Tal Bachman



There's nothing to tell about this girl except that she's nice and kind. She also famous among her friends. Naka fells for her for a reason that Naka also didn't knows. But there are a thing that he notices. She got many secret admires, perhaps. That because she is adorable. It is hard for Naka because he knows that he will lose in the first place 'cause he got nothing compared to others. He is a charmless man. Pity him. But that won't stop Naka from be friend with that girl. So, Naka makes his first moves. A move that changes everything. Goodluck Naka!

hampir benar..

teringat aku masa baru nie..masa tengah sibuk-sibuk nak final exam, sempat lagi kitorang main tilik-tilik nasib nie, guna daun terup lak tu..kalaulah kantoi dgn pak guard, maunya kata kitorang main judi..mampoihh..



nie ada la sorang member aku nie tilik nasib dia memang perghhh ahh..bukan aku nak percaya, wallahuallam lah tu dia tilik macam mana tp tilikannya tu memang hampir 90%tepat..aku tak tipu sbb aku yang kena tilik..dan beberapa org lagi yang memvolunteerkan diri untuk ditilik oleh beliau. kebiasaannya, topik utama tilikan adalah melibatkan 'awek' yang si 'kena tilik' nie suka..tak hairanlah kan? kitew kan remaja..hehe..



dan setelah melalui beberapa persoalan, tilikan pun bermula..dgn mengunakan daun terup.. sehelai demi sehelai daun digunakan untuk menjawab soalan-soalan yang dikemukakan oleh yang ditilik..dan setiap kad itu mempunyai isi atau maksud yang tersendiri..




aku ialah salah seorang mangsanya, dan ternyata hampir semua yang diberitahu oleh kawan aku tu memang terlalu hampir dgn realiti yg terjadi..90% hampir tepat, dan mungkin 10% lagi tu tersilap percaturan..malangnya kisah aku yg dia tilik tak lah menyedapkan halwa telinga ini..semua bnda yg aku x mau dgr..ak buat muka toya sambil2 sengih ikhlas sambil mengajukan soalan-soalan membunuh..siyes, aku tak percaya pun, tp lama-lama, sikit-sikit bnda tu hampir menjadi seperti yg beliau cakapkan ..mak aii, terer bangat beliau....

p/s : don't ever believe it..kalau betul pun, kebetulan je tu.

i don't love anyone

I don't love anyone
You're not listening
You're playing with something
You're playing with yourself

I don't love anyone
You're not listening even now
You're playing with something
You're playing with someone else

If there's one thing that I learned when I was a child
It's to take a hiding

I don't love anything
No, not even .........
Especially not that
I don't love anything

I don't love anyone
Well, maybe my sister
Maybe my baby brother too, yeah
I don't love anyone

If there's one thing that I learned when I was still a child
It's to take a hiding, yeah
If there's one thing that I learned when I was still a child
It's to be alone

If there's one thing that I learned when I was still a child
It's to take a hiding, yeah

Out in the street today
The kids are out playing, having fun
Well, I pass them by I'm not a kid, no
I don't love anyone

I met a man today
And he told me something pretty strange
There's always somebody saying something
He said, "The world was as soft as lace."

But I don't love anyone
I don't love anyone
I don't love anyone
I don't love anyone
I don't love anyone
I don't love anyone
I don't love anyone
I don't love anyone

If there's one thing that I learned when I was still a child
It's to take a hiding

the same old song

You know you're in love when you start to fell for those stupid love songs..

aahhh forget it, cut the crap.

Straight to the point, i don't feel like it gonna works out. Why does i starts to feel weird? I am wondering alone, searching for an unknown reality. Me, really wasn't sure about the answers. I don't even figured it out yet. I was thinking like what is the best options? To know or not to know?? There was no sign, and i was unable to guess anything. ahh really, I don't like myself be in this such situation. Someone please help me, i'm hanging upside down right now.


Plus, anywhere, any times, any places it was like 'LOVE, LOVE, LOVE'. Everything is love. Your plastic loves.

Look, stop bullshitting yourselves. Maybe you've got the right lover but man, you're really annoying me and making me jealous too. So, go play anywhere else next time. shushh shuhh!!


Forgive me man. I've past.


Learn everything from the pass right? Well, the past is history.

THE PAST IS MEMORY. The good, the bad or both. Just appreciate it all.

P.O.P. SINGING "HUG" BY DBSK IN KOREAN & MALAY

not bad...so much better than Max 24/7..what on the earth is that group? =.="

JET - Bruises

Can't live inside of a dream
I can't live inside of a dream
I'm changing my mind next week
I'm changing my mind next week
Bruises up my arms and strange love
Who the hell am I?
I want to tell you everything
I can't make up my mind

Living inside of a dream
I'm living inside of a dream
And everything's nothing I need
This I don't believe
The bells of Birmingham are ringing
And who the hell am I?
I want to tell you everything
I can't make up my mind

i'm gonna say sorry

She Holds a Grudge by Jet

She holds a grudge

Like no other woman

I ever met before

Yeah there are some tears

Then after, it's like a million years

Well she comes around

But I can't tell

If she let herself be held

I gotta do something, sometimes

Once

In my life

I'm gonna say sorry

Before I die

When, I?m alone

Well I don't feel

I think too much

Well I don't know enough

No ones right all the time

I gotta do something, sometimes

Once

In my life

Im gonna say sorry before I die

Baby Im sorry

So sorry

I apologise

Babe when I hold you

Then you will know

You're my woman

Believe me it is the only way

Don't leave me hear what I say

Yeah carry me back home

Back home

For once

In my life

Im sorry

I apologise

Babe please don't tell me

That all you see is black

No

And when I hold you

Then you will know

You're my woman

talking to myself again

Frankly speaking, aku terasa hati dengan kau. Aku memang terasa hati sangat-sangat dengan kau. Again, sangat-sangat.

Harap-haraplah kau faham.
Tak faham juga? Aku okay je. Lantaklah.

Aku marah?? Ehh mana ada..Apa sebab aku nak marah kat kau..Kau pun tak pernah marah kat aku kann.

Aku touching?? Ye la, memang patut pun. Aku bukan tunggul kayu, aku nie manusia jugak. So, tak pelik la kan manusia nie touching sebab nama pun manusia, confirm la ada perasaan.

Sebab?? aigoo..haih,kau tak tau betul-betul ke kau buat-buat tak tau nie? Aku malas la nak cakap pnjang lebar. Aku dah letih berperang setiap masa bagai nak gila nie. Aku dah isi pun borang nak resign. Tengah tunggu masa yang sangat-sangat sesuai nak submit je nie pun. Sebab ianya tak berbaloi la kawan, it's not worth it.

Harap-harap kau faham la kawan. Aku tau kau sebenarnya bukan begitu. Aku percaya kau. Kita kan kawan. Anyway, Godbless u fren.

Naka's Story

Normal life. That will be the best word to describe him. Naka is an ordinary people. He likes to hanging out with friends and all other things that young people do. But, while enjoying, he is still remember to follow his religion's rule. Naka isn't great in his study. Maybe he always playing around. He have many friends, but only one person that is truly close to him. He's Eki. Compared to Naka, Eki is a smart boy. Eki is famous among their friends because of his knowledge. Both of them really close together since their first meeting when their age were up to double digits. For Naka, Eki is like his brother. They're always support each other comes hell or high water. It's just like they share the same bloodlines. Eki always be the person that Naka asks for advices. Naka tells Eki about the girl he loves. And Eki, always be a good listener. Unfortunately, after a few years, both of them split up because of something unavoidable. But, their friendship remains strong. Naka couldn't accept that and he was truly sad for losing his real bestfriend. He feels like he was losing his other half. No one would be there when he want an accompany. No one will ever listen to his problem again. All his never-ending love is keep deep inside his heart without letting anyone knows about it. Love, life, all the things were never works out for Naka. Pity him.


But I've been sailing down this river alone
And I'm still trying to find my way back home
But I don't believe in magic
Life is automatic
But I don't mind being on my own
Said that I don't mind being on my own

storytelling: I'M NOT THERE (cont)

His name is Naka. He always have a sense of humor in his action. Maybe, that's why he got many friends beside him. His life is really joyful, with nothings to worry about. Naka loves sports, as he loves something beautiful for his ears. He lives normally until one day, the day that he found a girl from his village too. There's one thing that is special about Naka. Only a few of his friends is girls, the others is boys. So, Naka is pretty awkward to communicate with a girl. Day by day, week by week passed, Naka felt something was wrong with him. He don't know what and why, but he keeps thinking of that girl. Perhaps, that was called love in a first sight. Naka for the very first time in his life, loves someone. Lucky him.

yeah i’m seeing
a whole nother world in my mind
girl im feeling
i’m breathing in love all the time

you turn me on, love’s like a bomb, blowing my mind
you turn me on, love’s like a bomb, blowing my mind


He promised to himself if he accidentally seeing that girl, he would greet her. Day comes and go, he have not seeing her for a while. But until one day, when he's walking alone, he realize that he is heading towards that girl. He say to himself "Man, this is the chance!". But really, he screws that chance away just by smiling to that girl. His mouth couldn't ever speak one word. And after all, he just get one smile from her. But a very sincere one. Definitely, it would be enough for Naka for a while.

To Be Continued.

storytelling: I'M NOT THERE

warning: this is just a FAIRYTALE or something like that.

Once upon a time, there was a place called 'The Middle of Nowhere'. This peaceful place was famous with its' green. No one could ever find a reason for why that place was famous for that. But that doesn't matter, as long as they live peaceful and harmony all the time, without any disturbance. All the women was really adorable and sweet, same goes to the men. All of them was freakin' smart and good looking. But except this one man. And this is the beginning of the story of this man.

TO BE CONTINUED.

heaven knows i'm miserable now

I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour
But heaven knows I'm miserable now

I was looking for a job, and then I found a job
And heaven knows I'm miserable now

In my life
Why do I give valuable time
To people who don't care if I live or die ?

Two lovers entwined pass me by
And heaven knows I'm miserable now

I was looking for a job, and then I found a job
And heaven knows I'm miserable now

In my life
Oh, why do I give valuable time
To people who don't care if I live or die ?

What she asked of me at the end of the day
Caligula would have blushed

"You've been in the house too long" she said
And I (naturally) fled

In my life
Why do I smile
At people who I'd much rather kick in the eye ?

I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour
But heaven knows I'm miserable now

"You've been in the house too long" she said
And I (naturally) fled

In my life
Why do I give valuable time
To people who don't care if I live or die ?

renungan

DaripadaAbu Hurairah r.a, sabda Rasulullah s.a.w, maksudnya:“Janganlah kamu membenci bapa-bapa kalian. Sesiapa yang membenci bapanya bererti ia kafir.”

Riwayat Muslim


untuk peringatan bersama, lebih-lebih lagi kepada diri sendiri ini.

the sign is near

this entry is about the end of the world

AT WORLD'S END.

Today, the Lake of Galilee was reported to disappearing at alarming rate which means that the Lake will have no more water sooner or later.
Dear Lord, is the time is around the corner?
The world will end soon. Most of us didn't realize it or they do know but didn't care. Unfortunately, me too is the same. Oh, what a shame. Please dear friends, wake up now. There are no more time for playing around.

I fears I would be there when the time comes. And probably, i don't really have courage and with low level of 'IMAN', i'm pretty sure that i probably couldn't make it.
dear my Lord, ALLAH. I wanna live as a Muslim, I wanna die as a Muslim. When the time comes, i'll leave it all up to You, my Lord. To You is the journeys end.

life is a musical

through it i throw out all my feelings
like an artist with his drawings
like a poet with his poems
a song is something that walk by itself
its the medium, between you and something
and i'm pretty sure you know what i mean.

empty decorations

I wake in the dark
With showers of life
Moments of emptiness around
Floating away
No other hope
Reality brings me

Into the ground
What can I do
What can I say
I need a place to hide away
Just for a while, just for a smile
Just for a life I used to know

The perfect song were filled with
Words of love and not with anger
What if they go
What if they leave me far behind

'Cause I don't wanna be alone... (uh oh)
Living life for on my own (uh oh)
I don't want to live my life in isolation
Filled with empty decorations
'Cause I want to be with people that I know

Who would do the things I do (uh oh)
Making all my dreams come true (uh oh)
I don't recognize the shadows at my door
Though I've seen them all before
Because the only thing I really want...
Is to be with you

requiem for a dream

i'm waiting for a sign
will my soul be able to shine?
i'm waiting for some man
are they really my best friends

i'm still on my track
yet there's something inside my head
will my step fooling me back
pushing me downwards, breaking my leg

i'm wondering if i could quit
cause now i'm tired and sick
my money is too cheap
and my wall is too thick

i'm begging you like a child
i'm not gonna leave you behind
cause you're still in my mind
but only if you don't mind

i was alone for many years
and now i only got papers
i wrote down all the troubles
burn them near the river
but still i'm hopeless

untitled

sing me a song
its never too late
just like the Beatles
dreams will never fade

could you be the one
just like Patty Smiths
or like an Arctic Monkeys
with 'love machine'

i wanna be the Stones
all day touring
i wanna be Oasis
but it's just a dream

could we be together
just like a band
or its just me
that is insane

i wanna be the Stones
all day touring
i wanna be Oasis
but it's just a dream

could we sing along
one from Van Halen
or what do you want
is it Bob Dylan?

but i don't wanna
i don't wanna be anyone
i just wanna be someone
the only one.

again..

can i be somewhere else
faraway from this homeland
yes, i wanna be there
all the time to spend
when in the silence
the wind whispered
when in the night
the moon's shining bright
when in the morning
the dew refresh my mind
when in my dream
phoenix are flying high
but this blood
again
killing me softly
because this blood
it's nowhere
my dreamin' place is nowhere.

5 years searching for love.

5 years looking for love.

the very 1st year. found nothing. a bad start perhaps.

the 2nd year. found something, gain nothing except one, the vary valuable one. it was 'friendship'. don't know what it mean, but i know what it is.

3rd year. i'm a simple man with simple needs. friends more valuable then girls out there, really helping. so still, nothing changed and i'm glad.

4th year. i'm waiting for the moon to rise. but unfortunately, the moon was never ever try to help. it was really hard to read the moon's mind.

the 5th years. i've traveled down a long and winding road. feel what it feels like. yet, i sense something was missing. the biggest thing. i've found what i've been looking for and i'll fight for it till both of my eyes closed. for my last word will be 'ashhaduallailahaillallah, waashaduannamuhammadanrasulullah'. InsyaAllah.

this is the next one

aku tengah mencari jalan yg satu..jalan yang tenang, untuk kehidupan masa hadapan..

sebab aku rasa, ianya semakin hampir..waktu itu akan tiba..dan aku sungguh, tidak mampu dengan hanya menjadi begini.

kudratku tidak berupaya melawan kalau hanya ini yang aku ada. aku tidak mahu ketinggalan. aku juga mahu ikut serta.

tapi aku insan lemah, hamba mohon petunjukMu ya Allah.